My kindness is not weakness!

What an intense couple of months I had. After my panic attack which led me to take a social media break, I, again, looked very closely at my life and relationships, the good ones and the not so good ones, the ones that are real and the ones that weren’t. I cut ties, walked away from responsibilities that weren’t really rewarding, and I decided to focus on the things, people, and communities who really matter … and how refreshing this is!

Once again I realized that some people mistake my kindness for weakness. I am consciously choosing to be a kind and compassionate person, because there are already way too many assholes walking this earth, but my kindness and compassion has limits! When I realize that someone is trying to use me for their benefit, however that may look like, I will step on the kindness-break and let them know that being kind AND having an accent, doesn’t necessarily mean that I am an idiot. Quite the contrary! I am an educated, well rounded, smart woman who really has her shit together and if you can’t see that, guess who’s the idiot??? As soon as I don’t let them order me around or I take a stand for myself, I get labeled a bitch, a bad friend, a disloyal person, etc … but how about, a strong woman, a woman who lives her own life by her own rules, not yours!

Well, I am pretty much over all of this and can’t wait to leave for vacation in a couple of weeks. Of course that will involve Mike, the dogs, Homie the RV, and Olive & Emilie our Royal Enfield motorcycles. Speaking of motorcycles, a week ago we got two, used, Yamaha Bolts and we couldn’t be more in love with our “new” bikes.

Meet Bonnie & Clyde, the Yamaha Bolts, and Mike the love of my life ❤


Softness is not weakness.

It takes courage to stay delicate in a world this cruel.

~Beau Taplin

Healing Through Motorcycling

Today, I will literally talk to you. This is my first attempt on Vlogging, totally unscripted and also the wrong picture format. Next time, it’ll be better … I promise!

Watch it till the end, hear my secret and please comment, like, and follow.

Until a woman can receive herself,

she will unconsciously force others to reject her,

despite the fact that her most conscious desire

is to be loved

~Marion Woodman~

Happy Birthday in Heaven

I really didn’t know how and when to start writing and posting my new blog, since it will be “all about me”, my journey and my random thoughts. This will be my journal that I am going to share with all of you. Don’t expect Pulitzer Price worthy writing, everything will come straight from my heart and there might be some cussing and cursing too.

I want you to get to know me and since my dad laid the foundation of who I am, to start here seems very appropriate.

Today would have been my father’s 90th birthday. He always wanted to live to be 100, but only made it to 82. I was fortunate to have been in Germany, my country of origin, when my dad died. I was there to comfort him, when no one else did, to talk to the doctors, when no one else knew how to, and to take care of his funeral arrangements together with my brother. Little did I know that would also be the last thing my brother and I were doing together.

The death of my father came sudden and somewhat unexpected. I knew that he despised to be old. He himself told me so. Something, I will never forget, he stood there, in front of me with a very sad face and said, ”being old really sucks and I hate it!” A couple of days later, he left this earth.

It seemed like he had waited for me to be there, he held on for me, for which I will be forever grateful. He has always been my hero, my teacher, my confidant and my friend. He was the only one who really saw me and understood my struggles in life.

I feel so blessed that before he left, I got to tell him everything that I always wanted him to know. For many years, I wanted to write him a letter, but it just didn’t seem right. When we talked on the phone that time was taken up by him telling me very funny and most inappropriate jokes, I inherited his very dark sense of humor and he knew I would get it.

Then in January of 2010 I boarded a plane to Germany, not knowing that I would return a changed woman, a child who lost her father.

It took me years to get over the loss of the most important person in my life, I started drinking a lot, eating badly, and developed the worst depression I’ve ever went through, but I made it through this dark valley and emerged a stronger me.

What really kept me going and helped me through this time was the knowing that the last interaction I had with my dad was him sitting in his chair, me hugging him from behind, kissing him on his head and telling him that he did everything right that he was the perfect father to me, and that I loved him.

To know that those were the last words I told him is of great comfort and a true blessing!

Happy Birthday in Heaven Papa!!!


Why I feel the need to blog

I was just asked, why I need a blog on top of all my other social media.

Well, my social media is about our motorcycles, about my husband Mike’s and my travels, and our business making leather goods. there isn’t really anything just about me and how I arrived where I am in my life. I am also not sure, if Facebook or Instagram is the right platform for original thought, honesty and authenticity.

I am in a very good place. As a matter of fact, I’ve never felt better. It was quite the process to arrive at that place of accepting and loving myself, treating myself well, and realizing that life will be exactly what we make it to be. I learned how to turn off all that outside noise and really hear and listen to my own voice, telling me my own truth.

I used to journal and all of it landed in a drawer. It has always been quite therapeutic to jot down my thoughts and stories and I no longer want them stowed away somewhere. If they can inspire, help, or provoke some thought, even just for one person that’s good enough!

So there you have it that’s why I created this blog.


This photo was taken while we were riding in the Gila Box Wilderness, near Safford, AZ. One way how I can hear my own voice loud and clear, riding in remote places, removed from all the chaos that comes with our daily life.

Who am I and what makes me a Goddess?


They call me Bulletess and I will explain in a later blog, how I got my name. I am a 56 year old woman. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a leather artisan. I am a motorcyclist. I live in the desert. I have emerged from deep darkness and learned to stay in the light.

I have so much to say, about so many things. Get ready for my stories and thoughts, unpretentious and honest … and thank you, for tagging along!

What is a Goddess?

A woman who is in the process of learning to know, accept and love herself on all levels.

Mind, Body and Spirit.

A woman who, because she focuses on personal growth and self-awareness,

experiences a life, increasingly filled with

Peace, Love, Joy, Passion and Fun.

 A woman who understands that she has unlimited capacity to make her life anything she wants.

A woman who is inspired to give to those around her because of her sense of gratitude and abundance. 

~ Author unknown ~